How to Reduce Stress When Asking for a Divorce

Hearing that your spouse wants a divorce can be a huge shock, even if the relationship was faltering for a while. Before you tell your spouse you want to end the marriage, make a plan to reduce your stress and ensure everything is in order. Here’s what to consider:

• • Are you safe? First and foremost, ensure that you are safe and have somewhere to retreat to if your spouse takes the news badly. If you’re in danger of domestic violence, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for assistance.

• • Who is your support system? It’s important to have a support system during divorce, even if it’s a friendly one. Let your close friends or family know that you’re going to ask for a divorce, and ask for the help you need—be it emotional support, a place to stay or other type of assistance.

• • Do you have access to the marital finances? Before discussing divorce with your spouse, make sure that you have access to the marital finances and joint assets. Make a list of all the assets—this will aid you in the mediation or divorce process later.

• • What kind of divorce process is right for you? Next, decide how you’d like to get divorced. Mediation is a collaborative and cooperative choice, but it’s not suitable for all couples. If you are a victim of domestic violence or fear your spouse will be uncooperative, you may wish to handle your divorce through family lawyers.

• • What are your key messages? Finally, write down your key messages—for family, friends, children and your spouse—to help you prepare for the discussion. For example, your message might be, “We’re very sad that our relationship has ended, but remain committed to providing a safe and loving home for the children.”

Having a simple plan can make the initiation process and discussion a lot easier. For more information about divorce mediation and whether it’s right for you, call the experienced Long Island divorce mediators at Solutions Divorce Mediation today.