How to Stay Calm During Mediation

Even amicable divorces can get emotional. Divorce is a big change emotionally, mentally and financially, and dividing up the products of your time together can be tough. If you’re dealing with high emotions or a negative partner, it can lead to mediation taking longer than normal.

Staying calm during mediation might be tough at times, but these tips will help you get through it:

• It’s not personal:It might sound ridiculous when you’re in the middle of emotional arguments, but the divorce process—and how your ex treats you—isn’t personal. Understand that everyone makes the choices they think are best for them, and work with a therapist to help you focus on the big picture. In the end, who gets the kitchenware is not worth fighting over.
• Know what you want:Come into mediation with a general idea of what you’d like to accomplish. For example, if you are dead set on keeping the family business, brainstorm ideas about how to accomplish that and what you’re willing to give up. Knowing your end goals ensures you stay focused.
• Take breaks:If things get too heated, ask for a break and step away. Deep breathing and other stress management techniques can help you release your negative emotions and come back to the table in a better state of mind.
• Choose your battles wisely:Just like you should know what you want, and not take your ex’s actions personally, you should also know what isn’t a dealbreaker. For example, when negotiating custody, you might consider letting your spouse have a holiday you don’t celebrate, as long as you switch off on Thanksgiving every year.
• Find a healthy way to release negativity: Finally, make sure you have an outlet for your negative emotions. Many people hit the gym or find a therapist during their divorce, but you might also find peace in creative outlets like painting and writing—some people even enjoy deep cleaning when they’re angry.

By following these tips, you’ll be better equipped to create a smooth, peaceful mediation process—even if you’re ready to scream occasionally.

If you’re interested in divorce mediation, contact the experienced Long Island divorce meditators at Solutions Divorce Mediation today.