Are There Ways to Have a Happy and Healthy Divorce?
The notion of a “happy and healthy” divorce might seem ludicrous on its face, even if both spouses clearly understand that the time has come to move on. Although ending a marriage may involve sadness and stress, there are positive ways by which spouses can manage their breakup and their post-divorce lives.
Family law attorneys and other professionals offer numerous suggestions for improving the quality of your life during and after a divorce. They advise:
- Eliminating unnecessary conflicts through mediation —Litigation by its very nature pits one party against the other. This means that each side keeps to itself and demands everything they want in order to persuade the court to rule in their favor. Each decision has a “winner” and a “loser.” Under the guidance of a skilled mediator who can outline the relevant legal standards, the spouses can pursue consensus and emerge with a result that they both have a stake in.
- Focusing on the future — In contested divorces, people are sometimes tempted to use the litigation process to settle scores for their partner’s past misconduct. This isn’t the right approach. The time, money and discord that go into needless legal battles usually harm everyone involved, no matter what the outcome. Instead of dwelling on the past, concentrate on achieving a result that will benefit you now and in the long term, after the anger has diminished.
- Using creativity and technology — By taking a few well-thought-out measures, you can gain greater control over your divorce and create a framework that meets your unique needs. Smart phones have made it simpler than ever to maintain close communications and stick to visitation schedules. In addition, there are innovative ways of making the post-divorce situation easier for everyone. An example is “bird nesting,” an arrangement in which the children remain in the same family residence and the parents take turns living there. Using these tools and alternative dispute resolution processes such as mediation, parties can come up with creative solutions for dealing with their changed relationship.
Again, terminating your marriage is not pleasurable, but an experienced divorce mediator takes the time to learn about each spouse’s particular values and objectives and to ensure that discussions over issues such as custody and alimony proceed in a healthy way.
Located in Melville, Solutions Divorce Mediation works with couples in Long Island and throughout New York as they seek to dissolve their marriage without unnecessary emotional strain. For a free consultation, please call 1.631.683.8172 or contact us online.