Five Tips for Getting the Most Out of Divorce Mediation

Keeping your divorce out of the courtroom is often a win for you and your children. Mediated divorces usually result in far less bitterness, anger and emotional trauma compared to traditional litigation. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be times when your nerves reach a tipping point, especially if there are sharp disagreements to be resolved.

A mediator can help restore a sense of calm when tempers ride high. The mediator is a neutral person who facilitates productive discussions that can lead to positive outcomes. You’ll be encouraged to focus on having respectful, results-oriented conversations with your soon-to-be ex. This creates an atmosphere of openness and honesty that helps both parties achieve satisfactory outcomes.

With the right mediator in place, you’re well on your way to a successful out-of-court settlement of contested divorce issues. To help make the process as effective as possible, consider these tips:

1. Be flexible — Compromise is a key word. Keep your mind open to creative ideas regarding things like child custody and asset division. Remember that the goal isn’t to get everything you want but rather to find an acceptable compromise.
2. Avoid absolutes — The language of absolutes, such as “I never do that” or “You always do this,” hinders productive conversations and adds stress to the situation.
3. Lean on your supporters — Don’t be afraid to confide in trusted family members and friends during this difficult time. Having support from people outside the mediation room can help you stay focused and be reassured that you’re taking the right course of action.
4. Be self-aware — The conversations you have with your spouse, during mediation and outside of it, will often have an element of emotion to them. Try to recognize when you’re allowing your emotions to influence you, and then take a deep breath and rethink your approach.
5. Practice self-care — Some people experience physical and mental health issues due to the stress of divorce. Throughout the mediation process, do your best to relax, eat right, get exercise and talk to the people you trust most. Staying healthy during divorce will help you be ready for your new life afterward.

Serving clients in Suffolk and Nassau counties and throughout Long Island, Solutions Divorce Mediation, Inc. is ready to help you resolve your marital disputes without the stress of litigation. To arrange a consultation with our mediation professionals, call 1.631.683.8172 or contact us online. Appointments are available seven days a week.