Mistakes to Avoid in Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is a cooperative process where you find commonalities and come to your own solutions. It is not supposed to be a knock-down-drag-out fight where arguments overpower compromise.

Here are the mistakes to avoid if you wish mediation to be a productive process.

• Treating mediation like a courtroom brawl: Enter the mediation prepared to compromise, not argue. You will not agree on everything, but you do not need to fight over everything either. Disagreement is an opportunity to listen and see if you can balance concerns. The mediator facilitates that process by offering new ideas and helping each party see the other side. This process is not about who is right--it is about what will work best for all involved.

• Hiding your financial information: Never bother hiding essential information in any litigation. Mediation requires foreclosure of all financial documents to ensure informed decision-making. The other party will compel it anyway, and you may remove any chance of compromise. Have faith in the process and be upfront with your financial data.

• Dwelling on the past: Divorce often arises from harrowing emotional events, so it is understandable if you hold a grudge or feel hurt. But divorce isn’t about dwelling on the past; it’s about defining your future separate from your spouse. If you need to vent before moving forward with mediation, do so early in the process.

• Being inflexible: You may have one idea, and your soon-to-be former spouse may have another one. However, mediation is about compromise and not “winning.” The mediator helps you define what is important and find your solutions. Being stuck on one vision of your post-divorce future does not help you and will hold you back. Instead, be open to new ideas.

Contact the experienced Long Island divorce lawyers at Solutions Divorce Mediation for more ideas on conducting a successful divorce mediation.