Questions to Ask Before Starting the Divorce Process

If you’re considering divorce, it can be tough to know when to finally call it quits. Although many divorcing couples are able to remain amicable, the divorce process can be tough on all parties. Often, however, it’s an opportunity for each spouse to find what will actually make them happy.

How do you know when enough is enough? Consider these questions:

• Are your goals and values still aligned?:Sometimes our life experiences can drastically change our goals and values. If only one partner changes, that can put a strain on the relationship. Ask yourself whether you two are still aligned, and whether this is a brand-new or ongoing situation.
• Do they put in concrete effort to make changes?:When you discuss issues with your partner, do you feel heard? Do they put in effort to make appropriate changes, or do they brush you off and claim they’ll do better, some other time?
• Are you relieved when they’re not around?: One of the most startling indicators that your relationship has run its course is when you’re relieved that the other person isn’t around. If life seems more peaceful and easier when they’re off on a business trip or hanging out with friends, that may indicate deeper issues.
• Can you see yourself continuing for decades longer?:Finally, and most importantly, ask yourself whether you could continue this marriage exactly as it is now, with nothing changing. If the answer is “no,” it may be time to consider divorce.

Working with a therapist can help you explore whether divorce is the best option, or you’re only going through a rough patch. Use these questions to foster discussion and determine whether you should move on.

Divorce mediation is a fast and cost-effective option when you need to divorce. Talk to the trusted Long Island divorce meditators at Solutions Divorce Mediation to find out whether mediation is right for you.