Setting Goals Before Mediation

Mediation is a popular divorce method, saving spouses time and money, compared to battling it out in court. If you’re able to compromise with your ex, it’s a great way to resolve outstanding issues.

Setting goals before your mediation is key. When you’ve prepared for what you want to get out of the process, it’s easier to see pathways to compromise. Here’s how to set your own personal goals.

Draft a budget

First, draft a post-divorce budget for yourself and compare it to your current budget. You need a clear picture of what your income and expenses will look like once the divorce is finalized. While this could change—you may pay or receive spousal or child support—it will help you understand your needs before mediation begins.

Make a list

Next, start making lists of assets, possessions, custody and support preferences and other considerations for your divorce. This will help you organize your thoughts and categorize issues into dealbreakers vs. nice-to-haves. For instance, having shared custody of the children might be a must-have, whereas staying in the marital home would just be an added bonus. Go over your lists and decide where you’re prepared to compromise.

Put the children first

Finally, if you have children, put their best interests first. Children need a stable, loving environment, and divorce can be especially hard on them. Approach mediation with the goal of providing two loving homes for them, and consider all potential compromises through that lens. For example, you might want full physical custody of your child—but unless your ex is abusive, plans to move away or is otherwise unfit, it’s typically in a child’s best interest to visit with both parents.

Setting your mediation goals contributes to a smoother divorce experience. For more information, reach out to the knowledgeable Long Island divorce meditators at Solutions Divorce Mediation today.

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