Strategies to Help You Stay Calm if Mediation Gets Tense

The process of mediation can be emotionally fraught even when both spouses have committed themselves to the process and to negotiating in good faith. Things may occasionally get tense in these sessions. In these moments, it is important to stay calm and move past the issues as best you can to avoid further inflaming tensions and harming your ability to effectively negotiate the issues.

Here are a few strategies for you to employ in these circumstances.

• Be aware of your emotional triggers: What are the issues or triggers that are most likely to affect you emotionally? Spend some time thinking about this in advance of your mediation sessions so you can be prepared if any of them come up, rather than being blindsided.
• Take breaks: Sometimes when conversations begin to get tense, the best thing for everyone can be to take a break. Either take ten minutes out in the hall or in your car by yourself, or call a break on the issue until your next session, when everyone can return with cooler heads and a greater willingness to have a positive discussion about the issue at stake.
• Seek understanding: In many cases, inflamed tensions happen because we are so focused on our own perspectives that we refuse to consider why the other party feels the way they do. Listen carefully and seek understanding, even if you don’t like the things you’re hearing from your spouse. Trying to see things from their perspective can help you stay emotionally steady and also make it easier for you to negotiate solutions that work for both of you.
• Lean on your lawyer: If you have legal representation during your mediation, you might find it helpful to lean on your attorney for guidance or to communicate on your behalf if you feel yourself getting emotionally pressed.

For more tips to help you stay emotionally steady and calm even during tense mediation sessions, contact an experienced Long Island attorney at Solutions Divorce Mediation.