Tips for Having the Mediation Discussion With Your Spouse

If you have decided you want a divorce and have determined mediation or collaboration to be your ideal route forward, you will need to discuss the matter with your spouse. Remember that both of these tactics require face-to-face communication, so you should get the matter off on the right foot by properly communicating your intentions.

Here are some tips:

• Oral vs. written: The best strategy is to simply have a face-to-face conversation with your spouse about your intentions. However, if you have reason to believe your spouse will react negatively or if you are simply not on speaking terms, you could make the proposal via text or email instead.
• Choosing your words: When you have the conversation, make sure you choose neutral, non-threatening words. Emphasize that you believe this decision to be in both of your best interests, and provide some of the benefits of mediation over other forms of divorce.
• Have resources: You can also have resources ready to send to your spouse so they can see for themselves the benefits of divorce mediation. You may even have a list of potential mediators you can propose to your spouse.
• Offer choices: While it’s important to come to the discussion having already done your research, you should make sure you are not framing the discussion as something you have already moved forward with and have decided yourself. Your spouse should have a choice in the matter. Ask for their opinion and give them choices along the way.

It may take a couple discussions before you settle on the path forward in your divorce, but those discussions can help lay the groundwork for positive discussions in the mediation setting.

For more information about divorce mediation, contact an experienced Long Island divorce attorney at Solutions Divorce Mediation.