Ways to Keep Children from Being Caught in the Middle of a Divorce

Whatever problems may exist between divorcing spouses, their children should never be put in the middle of any fighting during or after the court proceedings. It can be hard to put aside bitter feelings, but the way you treat and speak about your ex could have a serious emotional impact on your son or daughter. Fortunately, effective approaches may be taken to quarantine children from harm during this difficult time.

These methods can spare your children from the rougher parts of divorce:

• Parallel parenting — After some divorces, the emotional wounds are still raw. Conversations about completely different issues somehow wind back to the problems that drove the couple apart. Parallel parenting can serve as a useful way for key information to be shared while minimizing the potential for renewed arguments. Agreeing to strict scheduling, single-parent activities and the handling of most communications through e-mail or apps reduces the likelihood that new problems will arise.
• Cooperative parenting — If parents are able to communicate positively after a divorce, cooperative parenting might be the right solution. Though disagreements may still exist, parents in this arrangement agree to remain supportive and put their children’s needs first. When conflicts arise, discussions occur away from the children until a decision is made. Then, the parents present a united front when telling their sons and daughters the outcome.
• Divorce mediation — During litigation, spouses are pitted against each other as they seek to establish child custody and visitation agreements. Even if there is consensus on those issues, disputes over property division, alimony and other divorce aspects could spill over and affect parenting decisions. Mediation starts a new chapter in your lives as co-parents in a positive, respectful environment.

Taking a careful, respectful approach can have short- and long-term benefits. A qualified mediator provides useful guidance to parents so they can concentrate on what is most important.

Located in Dix Hills, NY and assisting clients across Long Island, Solutions Divorce Mediation delivers knowledgeable, professional service to spouses who seek to handle their divorce discussions in a private setting. Please call 1.631.683.8172 or contact us online to make an appointment for a free initial consultation.